A Baby Between Friends Read online

  Lex wanted to be friends. Pals. He wanted to keep her at a distance while he dated and perhaps fell in love with another woman. Maybe that horrible Alana Kane had already gotten her claws into him. Not that Joni could allow herself to care. She’d driven down that road once before after her former fiancé had dumped her. Heartbroken, Joni had tried to figure out what she’d done wrong in order to make it right. It had taken her a long time to realize that she hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d been the one lying and cheating. Looking back at her behavior, the only excuse she had was that she’d been so much younger and naïve then. And foolish. Well, she was neither of those things now.

  She lifted her hair off her neck, then let it fall over her shoulders. Her decision to keep Lex out of her life needed to be revisited. There was no way she would be able to do that once she’d given birth. Lex might not want her in his life, but she knew he wasn’t the type to run away from his responsibilities. Not only that, he loved kids just as much as she did. More than once she’d seen the longing on Lex’s face when he was around the little kids, the yearning in his eyes when he drank imaginary beverages at one of the endless tea parties the four- and five-year-olds loved to have. The paternal patience he displayed, as he showed a boy how to knot a tie or told him how to know if a girl really liked him, had warmed Joni’s heart. Without a doubt Lex would make a great father.

  The biggest problem she could foresee was how she would deal with him. Raising a child would require the two of them to work together. She wanted her child to know that even though his parents weren’t married, they could get along. That meant she would have to find a way to stop being angry at Lex. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was going to have to get her feelings under control. Undoubtedly Lex would date in the future, so she was going to have to come to grips with seeing him with another woman after he’d dumped her so easily.

  Her heart ached at the thought. She inhaled deeply, then slowly blew out the breath. Lex’s potential romances were not something she wanted to contemplate right now. Given the fact that she was still trying to accept that she’d become pregnant from what amounted to a one-night stand, she was entitled to avoid anything unsettling. Joni knew she would have to face reality at some point. And she was going to have to tell Lex she was pregnant. But she didn’t have to do either of those things right now. She wouldn’t be showing for at least two more months. And if she dressed carefully, she might be able to camouflage her pregnancy for a month past that, giving herself more time to adjust.

  One thing was certain. She wasn’t ready to tell Lex about the baby. She needed time to come to grips with it herself, first. For the time being, her pregnancy would be her very own secret. That decided, she washed her hands and went into the kitchen.

  When she’d moved to Sweet Briar, she’d shared a house with her brother, Brandon. He was a fabulous chef and owned the best restaurant in a three-state area. When he’d fallen in love with and married one of his waitresses, Joni had moved from the house into the garage apartment. She liked the privacy it afforded while still allowing her to be close to Brandon and Arden, her sister-in-law. As she looked around the cozy apartment, she realized that it was a one-person home. It definitely didn’t have enough room for a kid to run and play. Of course, since the baby wasn’t even as big as her thumb and wouldn’t be making an appearance for months, she had time to find a house of her own with all the space they would need.

  She was warming up food she’d picked up from Brandon’s restaurant on the way home from work when someone knocked on her door. It was not quite nine o’clock, so Brandon and Arden would still be at the restaurant. Sighing, she crossed the small room and peered through her peephole.

  Lex. What was he doing here? Her heart thudded in her chest, and for a moment she froze. She briefly considered pretending not to be home, but she knew he’d never be fooled.

  “I can hear you moving around in there,” he said, confirming Joni’s thought.

  She unlocked the door and swung it open. He was dressed in a navy T-shirt and gray basketball shorts. No doubt he’d come straight from the youth center after the Thursday games. For a moment she wondered if there’d been a problem, but she shut down that thought immediately. How big a problem could there be with both the mayor and the chief of police present? And if there had been a medical emergency, the town doctor would have been there to help. No, Lex was here for personal reasons.

  “What do you want?”

  “To talk.”

  “About?” Joni knew she was stalling, but her mind couldn’t quite function.

  “Us.”

  “There is no us.” She started to close the door, but he grabbed it and held it open. Irritated, she looked into his face. The determination she saw in his eyes made her tremble.

  “Are you pregnant?”

  Chapter Three

  The color drained from Joni’s face, and Lex mentally kicked himself. He hadn’t meant to blurt out his question that way, but when he saw the door closing, he’d panicked. He wanted to talk as one adult to another, but he’d seen his opportunity vanishing and didn’t know when he’d get another one. He touched her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to be so abrupt, but my question remains. Are you pregnant?”

  Joni didn’t answer right away, but she did open the door wider. “Come on in.”

  Lex stepped inside and then took a seat on the sofa. Despite the serious conversation that they were about to have, some of the tension eased from his body the moment he stepped into the apartment. He’d spent so many pleasant hours here that it felt like he’d come home. Deciding to let Joni take the conversational lead, he sat back and crossed his feet at the ankles, doing his best to disguise his nerves. Ever since Trent had said the word pregnant, Lex had been on pins and needles, his stomach churning nonstop. The idea had taken root, and no matter how he’d tried to shake it off while he played ball, he couldn’t.

  Joni sat in a chair across from him, and Lex found his eyes drawn to her abdomen. It was still as flat as ever, not that he’d expected any different. There was no reason she would be showing at six weeks. Still, he couldn’t keep from picturing her belly large with his child. That is, if she was actually pregnant.

  Joni tapped her fingertips together, a sign that she was nervous. “I only did the test a little while ago.”

  “And?” he asked when she only sat there staring into space.

  She looked straight in his eyes. When she spoke, her voice was barely over a whisper, and it shook. “Yes. I’m pregnant.”

  Despite being prepared to hear the words, his heart still stuttered when she actually said them. Joni was pregnant. They’d made a child together. Conflicting emotions battered him on every side. Years ago when his little girl had been born, he’d been ecstatic. He’d loved her beyond words and sometimes more than his heart could contain. He’d had so many plans for her future. He was going to give her the world.

  Then, without warning, at four weeks and three days of age, Briana had died. He’d been gutted. Nothing had ever hurt as much as seeing his little angel lying in a tiny casket. He’d wanted to die, too. A father was supposed to protect his child, and he’d failed. After his daughter’s death, he’d been unwilling to open his heart like that again, which was why he’d always been so careful about birth control. He couldn’t risk getting a woman pregnant and bringing another child into the world. But a few weeks ago, he’d slipped up, and now Joni was pregnant.

  “Say something.” Joni’s voice reeked of desperation, a sound he’d never wanted to hear from her.

  “I don’t know what to say.” Though he’d never wanted to be vulnerable to that type of loss again and fear was currently gripping his soul, he couldn’t deny the bit of hope and joy that was struggling to come alive inside him. He had a second chance to be a father. This time he would be more careful. Although the doctors insisted there was nothing he or Caroline could have done to prevent Briana
from dying, a part of his parental heart believed he was to blame.

  “I’m keeping it.” Though her voice trembled, her words were defiant.

  His heart nearly stopped at her words. Had that been in doubt? And in that moment, all ambivalence vanished. He wanted this baby. “I hope you know I would never try to convince you otherwise.”

  Joni’s eyebrows eased, and her shoulders relaxed. Apparently she’d been prepared for a battle. “I just wanted to make that plain from the beginning. And I also want to let you know that I didn’t get pregnant on purpose.”

  “I know that, Joni. I was there.” He remembered every blissful second of their night together. It had been one of the best nights of his life. And it had cost him the most important relationship in his life. If he could go back in time, he’d do everything differently. He wouldn’t agree to be Joni’s pretend boyfriend at her sorority sister’s wedding. He still would have gone to Chicago with her, but as the friend that he’d actually been. Acting like they were in love had led to some very real kisses and caresses that had landed them in this situation. She was barely speaking to him. All because he’d betrayed her friendship.

  After his marriage had fallen apart, he’d tried to love again. More than once he’d made an effort to let a woman get close. But he couldn’t. The part of his heart responsible for becoming a good mate had died. He wasn’t able to open himself up like that anymore. Not that he’d been a monk. Not even close. But he’d always made sure that the woman he was involved with knew he wasn’t offering forever. Forever was no longer an option for him. Neither was love. All he had to offer was respect, kindness and faithfulness for however long the relationship lasted. And the women had been fine with that because they hadn’t been looking for anything permanent, either.

  But Joni was different. He’d recognized that early in their friendship. She would never be satisfied with the little he’d been able to give. She wanted everything. They’d discussed their hopes for the future on more than one occasion. She wanted a husband and kids, a forever love like her parents shared. She deserved to have what she wanted. At one time he’d considered introducing her to one of his younger brothers who’d be able to give her the family she wanted. Somehow he’d never gotten around to doing that. Now it was too late.

  Though Lex had tried to put things back the way they’d been the morning after he and Joni had made love by apologizing and suggesting they pretend that nothing had happened, it hadn’t worked. The easy comfort they’d shared was gone, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it back. He was trying to become her friend again, but she wasn’t interested. Still, he’d held out hope that he could win her over eventually.

  Now that she was pregnant, there was no way they could pretend that night hadn’t happened and go back to being best friends. The child would be proof that for at least one night they’d been lovers. Unfortunately he didn’t know what kind of relationship they could have in the future. If he couldn’t convince her to be his friend again... He couldn’t imagine that. He had to find a way to win her back. She’d liked him once. She could like him once again.

  “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I’m going to have a baby and figure out what to do next.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  She shrugged. “I have no clue. It’s all kind of surreal. This isn’t at all how I’d planned it. I always thought I’d be married when I had a baby. I’m kind of traditional that way. And then there’s my job. As director of the youth center, I’m supposed to be setting an example for the younger generation.”

  “You’re doing a fantastic job and you know it.”

  “By getting pregnant after a one-night stand?”

  He reared back. Her words might as well have been a fist. “The night we shared might not have been planned or repeated, but it definitely wasn’t a one-night stand.”

  “Then, what would you call it? Besides a mistake, I mean.”

  “I don’t know. Two friends who got swept up by the pretense and slipped up?”

  She shook her head and laughed. It wasn’t a joyous sound. It took a moment before he realized that tears were sliding down her face. He jumped off the couch and knelt in front of her chair. He cupped her face, angling it so that their eyes met. The pain he saw in hers was nearly his undoing. The last thing he’d ever wanted to do was hurt her. “It’s going to be all right. Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”

  “No, it won’t. Nothing will ever be okay again.”

  “It only seems like that now because everything is turned upside down. You’ve gotten a shock. You’re still trying to deal with it. We both are. But we’ll handle it together. Okay?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Can’t what?”

  “Handle this with you. Not this. Not now.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I—I don’t like you anymore.”

  * * *

  “I see.”

  Joni watched wordlessly as Lex pushed to his feet. He didn’t return to the couch, but went to her front door. For one tense minute she thought he might leave, but he didn’t. Instead he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. Despite the fact that she didn’t want to be attracted to him, she couldn’t help but notice the way his shirt pulled tight against his muscular torso. Even though Lex’s job required him to do a lot of sitting, and frequently involved lunch or dinner meetings, he possessed a spectacular body without an ounce of flab. Every inch of his six-foot-three-inch frame was perfectly sculpted.

  She dragged her eyes away from his body and her mind away from the memory of running her hands over his chest and six-pack abs. That was something that would never be repeated and therefore was best forgotten. She forced herself to focus on the conversation. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, Lex. I’m just being honest. That night changed things for me in more ways than one. I can’t pretend nothing happened the way you want to and go back to the way things were.”

  “So what are you suggesting we do? Because I can tell you right now I’m not going to walk away from my child.”

  “What makes you so sure it’s yours?” She was bluffing, of course. She hadn’t dated anyone in longer than she cared to think about and hadn’t had sex with anyone other than Lex for even longer. Several guys had asked her out, but after a few horrible first dates she’d opted to spend her free time with Lex. Being with him had been a lot more enjoyable than those awkward dates. To be honest, being with him had been a lot more fun than anything.

  He laughed. “That’s probably the only thing I’m sure of right now.”

  She had to smile. “Me too.”

  “I think we both need time to think about this. How about we table this discussion and meet for lunch tomorrow? Our heads will be clearer then.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. What I really need is time and space alone.”

  “I’m not asking you to move in with me, Joni. All I’m asking is for us to have lunch and talk. And you know you need to eat. Now that you’re pregnant, you can’t skip meals the way you did the other day.”

  “I can always go over to Brandon and Arden’s. My brother is a chef, you know. And he’s close by.”

  Lex raised an eyebrow. He didn’t say a word, but then he didn’t need to. They knew each other so well that silent communication was just as effective as words. He knew that although she lived in the garage apartment behind her brother and sister-in-law’s Victorian home, she didn’t like to intrude on their privacy. After all, they were newlyweds.

  Joni sighed. “Okay. I’ll meet you at the diner.”

  “Good. Usual time?”

  Joni nodded and stood up. Lex didn’t say anything else, but she could tell there was more on his mind. In the old days, she would have prodded him to talk, but this wasn’t the old days. And who knew, perhaps it was better that he kept
it to himself for the moment. She didn’t have the emotional space to deal with anything else.

  Happy that she was able to stand without feeling the tiniest bit of nausea, Joni crossed the room to open the door for him. She expected him to move out of her way, but he didn’t. Instead he put his hand under her chin and lifted her face until their eyes met. The warmth and concern she saw there didn’t surprise her. Lex had always been a caring person. What surprised her was the sudden longing that filled her.

  If someone had told her two months ago that Lex’s simplest touch would set her on fire, she would have laughed that person out of town. She’d known Lex possessed a lethal charm and magnetism that women found irresistible, but she’d believed herself to be immune. She couldn’t count the number of occasions they’d sat on her sofa, her feet on his lap. Or the many times he’d thrown his arm over her shoulder and pulled her against his strong side. Not once had her knees weakened. She hadn’t felt a spark of anything resembling attraction. Now, though, his slightest touch awakened parts of her body that had lain dormant for years until that night six weeks ago. Somehow she had to get them to go back to sleep. At least where Lex was concerned.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” She hated the breathless sound to her voice, so she cleared her throat and then stepped away from him. Still he didn’t leave. “Did you want something else?”

  “Have you eaten anything?”

  “I stopped by Heaven on Earth and picked up dinner. I was just heating it up when you got here.”

  That seemed to satisfy him. “Okay, then. Sleep well.”

  He opened the door and descended the stairs with the ease of a man without a care in the world. Joni watched until he climbed into his car and drove away before she closed the door. Unable to move, she leaned against it and exhaled. That had gone better than she’d expected. And even though she hadn’t wanted to tell Lex about the baby yet, she was glad to have the discussion out of the way. She didn’t like keeping secrets from him. That was something they’d never done in the past. And even though their relationship had changed for the worse and everything else between them was different, it was good to know that at least one thing was the same.